But I am not sure why I fell so quickly into the arms of another man. That is what you have to help me to understand and deal with because I am afraid it will happen again, no matter how much I want to remain faithful.”Chelsea said, “WOW! It sounds like you have already isolated the problem. Do you think you will want to establish a sexual relationship with a man outside of your marriage again? Is that it?”I said, “Absolutely NOT. I am totally committed to Tom both in terms of the usual measures, like unconditional love, physical attraction, long partnership and unqualified respect. Also, frankly, my fidelity is not so much a matter of my love for Tom as it is an artifact of my own personal self-worth. Two seconds after I did it with Murphy I felt like a worthless slut and the guilt was crushing. Keep in mind that I still believed that Tom was fucking around on me, so those feelings were my own, not something imposed by external conditions.”I added, “And I told Murphy that it would. Most employees had pictures, superhero figurines, and stickers and whatever shit hung up in their cubicles. I didn’t have anything. I didn’t like looking at anything that could distract me.“You know why you’re here,” I said, printing out her record.“I’m so sorry. My class got let off late. I tried to make it here as fast as I could.”Jesus fucking Christ.“Did you ring the employee Call-Out line? A late counts as one occurrence and you’re allowed six before you get a write-up.”She looked relieved, like she’d been saved. I held up a finger and picked up my phone to dial the Call-Out line.“Employee Call-Out line. This is Addie,” said one of the few supervisors that I actually liked—no, loved. I loved this girl. That was saying a lot because the list of people that I loved was really, really, really short.“Hey, Addie. It’s Celine.”“Oh honey, you sound mad. Don’t tell me. It was Paul. David. Rita. Bethany?”I actually laughed. She was such an adorable idiot.“Keep that up and it’ll be you,”.
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